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8 Must-Have Pre-Marriage Discussions

by Naveen Agarwal
Pre-Marriage Discussions

As millennials, most of us seek matrimonial bliss despite altered notions of marriage. Gone are the days of saccharine-sweet Hum Aapke Hain Kaun relationships and family bonds. Today’s generation expects marriage to be more like that in Tanu Weds Manu—spicy, enthralling, and yet very endearing. Undoubtedly, matchmaking sites provide an excellent means to meet your potential life partner and seek the blessings of your parents simultaneously. Yet, there is a vital element of certain conversations that must be had before marriage. While it may seem all hunky-dory in the beginning, it is very important to ask and answer these important questions for a long-lasting understanding and compatibility between partners. The key to ‘happily ever after’ in a  marriage is sharing a great pre-marriage equation, and being on the same page as far as important life aspects are concerned.

1) Nature and Persona

If you are going to be living under the same roof, sharing hopes, dreams, and aspirations for eternity, knowing your prospective soulmate’s personality traits is a bare minimum. From sleep cycles and cleanliness to food habits and other daily routine traits, it will be helpful to know about each other and lay down your cards at the very outset.

2) Household Responsibilities

Needless to state, the fixed barriers such as ‘woman in the kitchen’ and ‘men at work’ are becoming archaic in today’s world. Most of us are used to being financially independent and living alone. Things changes after being united in holy matrimony, especially if you both are working. Therefore, having a frank discussion about sharing household chores and responsibilities are imperative for a harmonious life ahead.

3) Shared Finances

If you think that talking about money will dampen the romance, then think again. Marriage is not a 20-20 cricket match but an everlasting test series. Sharing your financial standing with each other honestly is the best way to ace this series. Yes, money cannot buy happiness,but it is vital for survival and a good lifestyle. Financial expectations are best laid out in the open from the very beginning. A good partnership entails being on the same page—physically, emotionally, and financially.

4) Professional Ambitions

Marriage is indeed a lovely journey. This journey can be made even sweeter when you and your spouse support each other’s career goals. Knowing about each other’s aspirations and professional goals before marriage will help strengthen your bond in the long run.

5) Wanting Children

Are you both fond of children? Are you ready to have kids right away, or do you want to wait a while? How many children do you wish to have, and how do you intend to raise them? These are some important questions for any couple. Both of you can plan your life ahead by knowing each other’s take on the subject.

6) Opinions and Worldview

The world says, “opposites attract.” But, the attraction may or may not be long-lasting. However, in a marriage, having common ideas and perspectives can help in cementing the relationship better. For instance, if you are a liberal and your prospective match is a conservative, it is likely to cause friction in your matrimonial journey. Of course, you cannot share the same opinions about everything under the sun but having a certain level of consensus is an important ingredient for a healthy marriage.

7) Living Together

It might seem easy but a lot goes into sharing a life replete with its ups and downs. Talking about your living situation post-marriage entails many factors. Will your in-laws reside with you? Does either of you have jobs that involve frequent travelling? Could it be a long-distance marriage? Instead of springing up surprises post marriage, be frank about these things beforehand.

8) Family Values

In India, being wedded in holy matrimony is not merely about the husband and wife alone. We have a family-oriented culture and the social implications of marriage are massive. There is a huge family bond that gets established, with parents, siblings, uncles, aunts, cousins, and so on. Knowing each other’s family values is a great way to start your marriage on the right note. Also, talk about sharing the responsibility of being caregivers for both of your parents.

To Conclude

Pre-marriage courtship is a lovely phase marked with excitement, romance and rosy dreams for the future. But in your quest to find the ideal pre-wedding photoshoot or honeymoon destination, don’t forget to have these important life discussions with your would-be life partner in advance. It will, in fact, sweeten your matrimonial journey furthermore, and keep the romance sparkling lifelong.

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